problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
