somebody snuck up and got me drunk
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
