like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
