um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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