your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I need to stop coming to work sober
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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