he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Randomize
