Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
