I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
