Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize