There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
