She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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