I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
