I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize