I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
