I swear she didn't look like that last week.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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