it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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