just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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