i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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