when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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