hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
