I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
