dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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