I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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