I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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