we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
