Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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