..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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