Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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