sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
