I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
