Porn is love you can see.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
