that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
