Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
