haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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