Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
