if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
