but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize