P.S. I can't hear my feet
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize