Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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