I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize