This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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