I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
