i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
