I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
