this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
