I am puke
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize