Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
