I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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