I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
