4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Slut skills are useful in every country.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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