It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize