we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Small penises have feelings too.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
