what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize