I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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