I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
