I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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