just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
