her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
